Chapter 19

And yet, as I sat there watching the ceremony, looking at my friends up there, I
still understood why they wanted this marriage. Love makes us all follow our heart's
desire. Love is the Key to it All. My friends N. and S. Loved each other, and were just
following their wishes for joy and happiness in their lives by marrying each other. And I
was also following my hearts deepest desire by avoiding marriage altogether and Loving
God and discovering God within. As we say these days, "It's all good." As I sat there, I
could not help but smile and feel happy for them, and also for myself as well. In the Joy
of that moment, I was completely taken with the feeling that All seemed perfect, and as it
must be.

And so, I waited for the ceremony to end, for the wedding party to march out of
the church one by one. I simply stood motionless on the stairs which leads up to the
choir loft as the bride and groom walked by, out of the church. I looked at myself and
my surroundings and thought the scene I was presenting was hilarious--I was dressed
from head to toe in black clothes, even wearing my very long, wavy black hair down
around my face. This, combined with my darkly contrasting and somewhat intense
looking facial features made me laugh quietly to myself at what a sight I was presenting
to everyone as they walked out of the church. I thought to myself that I must have looked
like Satan himself, a figure in black, in the rear of the church, presiding over the night's
ceremonies. And sure enough, when I joined the wedding party outside the front doors,
one of the bridesmaids, D., who was an old friend of mine, immediately remarked, "Oh,
wow!! You looked just like Satan standing there!" I couldn't help but laugh...