When I closed my eyes to begin again, something immediately took over my
breathing rhythm. I had no control over what was happening. I began breathing in a way
that I never had before--rhythmically, very hard, through my nose. As soon as a fast
inhalation was over, an equally fast exhalation would begin without the slightest pause
and vice versa. I turned into a violent breathing machine--a sort of non-mechanical
human respirator. This was not my idea to do this. Something made me do this,
impulsed me to do this and it perplexed me. Why was I breathing like this? This was no
way to breathe, certainly not in calm, peaceful Meditation! I decided not to fear what
was happening, so I let it go on. In fact, I remember that I felt like I had no choice but to
let it go on--like I had suddenly lost control of my own will to stop it at all. I also
remember wanting to know why this was happening in the first place, where it would
lead to. I truly had no idea what was going on. As I said before, I just let it go on. After
about a dozen or so cycles of inhaling and exhaling, the violent breathing just stopped
completely at the end of the last exhalation. Just stopped totally and as suddenly as it
began only moments earlier. But I did not start breathing normally again at this time--I
did not breathe at all until nearly an hour later.
